


All It Takes

by kinneyb



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 11:54:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6422929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinneyb/pseuds/kinneyb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Justin isn't the one bashed (or attacked) on the night of prom - Brian is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All It Takes

**Author's Note:**

> I've been debating writing this for a long time but I kept putting it off until finally I decided I needed to just do it or just give up and realize it was never happening. Hopefully you enjoy it even if it is angst-y material. I'll try and update as frequently as possible (probably once a week at the least). Also if you have a tumblr, feel free to follow me on there @ kinneyb.tumblr.com!

"This was the best night of my life," Justin sighed contently as Brian dragged him towards his jeep by his hand. And he wasn't exaggerating - even if he did have a tendency of doing that. Brian released his hand, wrapping his fingers up in the scarf hanging from his neck and using it pushed him up against the side of the vehicle. Justin silently waited as Brian played with the ends of the scarf, staring into his eyes. He seemed to be thinking, considering. Justin didn't say a word, knowing if he did Brian would surely back out.

"Even if it was ridiculously romantic."

It wasn't exactly what he had been waiting for, but it was so *ridiculously* Brian he loved it nevertheless.

Brian didn't let him get a word in, not that he had much worth saying, as he swooped down and kissed him. Justin happily returned the kiss, feeling his way up and resting his hands in Brian's hair as he leaned in as far as he could, deepening the kiss. When Brian gently touched his tongue to his bottom lip, Justin instinctively opened his mouth.

It seemed like only a second before Brian was pulling away and Justin frowned deeply.

All good things had to come to an end - he had heard it many times before and it seemed it was true.

Brian let go of the scarf and pecked his lips one last time; it wasn't a thirsty, needy kiss, but gentle and soft. Brian never kissed gentle and soft, his kisses were always carnal and almost animal-like. Not that he was complaining. Justin suppressed a smile. Brian gestured towards the entrance and Justin nodded. It would be rude of him if he just abandoned Daphne after-all, no matter how much he wanted to go home with Brian and have the best night of sex they ever had.

"Later," Brian said as Justin started walking away, tangling his own fingers up in the scarf. Brian hadn't asked for it back and really he wasn't complaining about being able to keep it for now. Not only was it quite frankly beautiful and soft, it reminded him of the night, reminded him that Brian had actually - despite all odds - came. And not in the *usual* way.

Justin chewed on his lip briefly before looking back over his shoulder and grinning. "Later."

He liked that; later meant they would be seeing each other again, and probably soon. 

Justin turned back around and continued towards the door, humming the song the DJ had played while they'd danced, still playing with the scarf like he was a kid and it was the newest popular toy. The song had been cheesy as hell, nonetheless outdated, but it was catchy, memorable. Just like this night. Justin found himself grinning again.

He caught someone walking past him as he approached the entrance finally but he didn't think much of it - not at first, but then he realized it wasn't just *anybody* who had walked past him but a very *specific* somebody. Justin paused. Why the fuck would Chris Hobbs be coming out to the parking garage? And he was alone too - where was his date? That bubbly girl Justin actually thought seemed like a decent human being (unlike Hobbs) though he couldn't remember her name. She wasn't an outright homophobe however, which probably explained why he didn't hate her guts.

Turning on his heels, Justin felt his stomach sink when he realized he was down here for the exact reason he had hoped he wasn't; he was fucking confronting Brian. Why not him? He wasn't sure, but he wasn't about to let him get away with it.

But then he realized something that made him even more uneasy; he was holding a bat.

A wooden bat, and Chris was twisting it around in his hand like he was preparing himself.

For what? Justin felt everything inside him go numb. He *knew* what.

He was running before he knew what he was doing, yelling so loud he felt lightheaded. "Brian!"

Chris approached the jeep just as Brian opened the door and climbed back out. His eyes immediately landed on Justin running towards him, having obviously heard his warning though just as obviously having no idea what he was actually warning him about before he focused on the boy standing closer to him. He, just as immediately, recognized him - from that one night at Babylon, the proclaimed homophobe Justin had gotten off.

Justin heard it before he saw it; the sound of wood colliding with something hard. Oh god, oh god. He stopped instantly, his feet becoming like glue as he felt frozen in his spot, unable to move or even open his eyes. He didn't even remember closing them. But he knew he had to do something. He quickly opened his eyes and saw Chris just as he tried getting away.

It was dangerous, he knew, but all he could think was 'fuck all dangers' as he reached out and snatched the bat away from Chris. He was so unprepared for that he actually let it go as soon as Justin grabbed it. Without as much as a second thought, he pulled his arm back and swung with all his strength forwards. The feeling of the bat colliding with Chris - his back, of course, Justin wasn't *that* far gone - made him feel ill. Chris dropped down, his knees making a horrible sound, and Justin threw the bat a good few yards away before rushing towards Brian.

Blood, *so* much blood. His shoes squished in the red liquid as he got up next to Brian and crouched down.

His head was oozing blood and his entire body was still. Justin felt like the air had been knocked out of him too. He quickly did the first thing he could think of - something he always saw on hospital shows - and pulled the scarf off his neck, pressing it tight against Brian's head. It was the side of his head that got most of the impact, it seemed, or at least that was where all the blood was coming from.

"Brian, come on," he sounded like such a fucking baby, his voice wet. "Open your eyes. Look at me. *Please.*"

He was shaking horribly. God, he barely felt like he was breathing, but he knew now wasn't the time for one of his infamous meltdowns. It really, really wasn't. His mind was buzzing, he couldn't think about anything but the man on the concrete right in front of him. His face was so *peaceful* and it just made Justin feel even more worried. Brian Kinney was a lot of things - but peaceful? Hell no.

"Brian," he repeated, a little louder. Nothing. He seriously felt like puking. No, he *seriously* felt like he was dreaming. He had to be. This couldn't be real. His fingers twitched, debating before he decided he couldn't make things worse - he really couldn't - and slowly he reached out. His fingers were trembling like crazy as he very softly touched Brian's chest. He knew nothing about healthcare but he *knew* he should be able to feel his heartbeat even if only a little bit. But he couldn't, he fucking couldn't, and he felt like his world was crashing down around him.

A sob escaped his lips. One question danced around his mind; _what should I do?_

He had the logical answer - get help, but the more he thought about it the less he was sure he could get back up right now. He was dizzy and his entire body felt *wrong*.

Justin licked his lips. Shit, when had they gotten so dry? Leaning down, he spoke again. "Brian - " His voice gave out, barely even a whisper as he finished. "I need you."

He saw out of the corner of his eye as Chris ran off, having apparently regained his composure, but he made no effort of stopping him. Right now he didn't give two fucks about Hobbs. Suddenly he saw her. Justin felt a fake spark of hope inside his chest as lifted an arm in the air and got her attention almost immediately. Daphne saw him and rushed over with eyes so wide it would would been comical in any normal situation, but this situation was not, under any circumstances, normal. 

"What the fuck - " she stopped, thinking better and crouched down on the other side of Brian, reaching out. "Let me - "

Justin did something he really wasn't expecting and protectively grabbed Brian, pulling him close. Blood *splashed* across his shirt as he did it but as if he was thinking about keeping his suit pristine right now. Moving him? Probably the worst idea in the book, which he only realized after he had done it. Daphne pulled her hands back and flashed an understanding look before she stood up. 

"I'm calling for help."

Justin watched as she stepped away before turning his attention back on Brian. He leaned down, pressing his forehead into Brian's chest and just stayed there, wishing so desperately he would hear his voice any minute now telling him he was 'overreacting, being ridiculous' and better *not* be babying him right now. But it never happened, his voice never reached his ears like he hoped.

After an eternity, Daphne returned. Justin only knew by the sound of her heels approaching. She sounded frustrated. "Shit, it took them like - five fucking minutes. Does it always take this long for 911 to pick up? Didn't they realize someone could be dying - " As soon as the words left her mouth, she seemed to know she had made a mistake, tensing.

Justin felt his entire body go cold like ice had just been poured over him.

Brian might be dying. He might already *be* dead.

Of course he realized that the minute he saw all the blood, but now it was *really* dawning on him.

Justin buried his face harder against Brian and sobbed.

"Hey," Daphne said, voice almost inaudible. Justin didn't move, didn't say a word. She tried again. "Justin, the operator said you should talk to him."

Still he didn't move or say anything.

"He said - " she cleared her throat. "He said it sometimes helps - that the person might still be... here. Hearing a familiar voice keeps them fighting."

Justin somehow knew this talking trick was probably meant to help him, not Brian. Nothing was helping Brian - not until the professionals arrived. But Daphne was trying so hard, and god if it stood a chance of helping Justin knew he had to do it. He swallowed deeply, biting back a sob. What could he even say? He breathed out slowly before he began talking. His voice sounded so weak, so foreign, it even surprised himself at first. "Brian." He opened his eyes but didn't move yet. "I love you. And I know, despite all your attempts of making me think otherwise - " he smiled dryly " - you love me back. But I'm not gonna let you," the word caught on his tongue and suddenly he wasn't sure if he could hold back his lunch, "*die* until I hear the words from you properly, you got that?"

Justin wet his lips, leaning up and kissing the only part of Brian's forehead not covered in red. He heard Daphne finally start crying. 

Then the most beautiful sound he ever heard - okay, Brian's voice would've been number one so the *second* most beautiful sound he ever heard - reached his ears; the sirens of an ambulance. He nearly jumped up before deciding against that. He wasn't leaving Brian, not yet. He buried his face into Brian's neck, ignoring the horrible realization the new wetness on his cheeks wasn't more tears but blood.

He glanced up slightly, watching as red and white lights bounced off the walls as the ambulance pulled into the garage. 

When a man appeared, dressed up like in the shows Justin watched, he felt relieved but then that relief vanished when he realized what he was asking of him. "We need you to step back," he explained softly as a second man appeared behind him. He was pulling a stretcher with him. Justin felt his heart do something funny but he couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was, what it meant, just that he had never felt it before. God, this was really happening and he felt like he was going to be sick. He tightened his arms around Brian, looking between the EMTs and Daphne desperately. 

"I can't - I can't, he - I *can't* - " 

Daphne stared him down. "Justin," her voice was firm though still soft. She extended a hand and he hesitated for a long, long moment.

Finally he reached up, taking her hand and she pulled him up into her arms. Justin didn't fight that, burying his face into her shoulder. After a few seconds he looked up, and that's when he saw it - the scarf laid out across Brian. His heart jumped and before Daphne could do a thing he was out of her arms and yanking the scarf off Brian, staring down at the bloodied material that was once white but now so horrifyingly red.

Daphne hesitated. "*Justin*."

Justin breathed in and out rapidly. The scarf must have slipped off his neck when he was holding him earlier. He couldn't leave it. He looked up, eyes watery. The EMT looked at the scarf, looked at his partner then looked back at Justin and nodded. Justin didn't smile but he nodded back; a silent thank you as he stepped away and watched helplessly as the EMTs did what they did best but somehow he didn't feel any comfort. Never did he ever think he would see Brian with a neck brace on, never ever did he think he would have to watch as Brian was lifted and placed onto a stretcher. Never *ever* did he think he would watch as EMTs rushed, messily putting a bandage around Brian's head that would surely be replaced with a proper one later.

Justin busied himself with the scarf, twirling it, wrapping it around his fingers. It was bloody - god, was it bloody - but it brought him some kind of comfort nothing else could right now, knowing Brian had had it around his neck, his perfectly *not* bloody neck only moments earlier. When he heard the sound of wheels, he snapped his head back up. The EMTs were loading the stretcher into the back of the ambulance. He grabbed Daphne by the hand and pulled himself up into the ambulance. 

He startled, realizing he hadn't even asked permission - didn't you need to be a relative or married or something to ride with someone? - but then one of the EMTs smiled, a sad smile but albeit a smile, and pulled the doors closed.

\-----

Justin couldn't watch as they worked on Brian but he listened. He wasn't breathing, he didn't have a pulse, he was losing too much blood too fast. He kept his eyes glued on the scarf that he had settled in his lap. It was probably expensive knowing Brian and now it was ruined. He didn't care, not one bit, but he knew as soon as Brian was okay again he'd surely be bitching about it. Justin sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, chewing. *If* Brian was ever okay again. Daphne tried comforting him, squeezing his arm, whispering sweet nothings.

"We're here," one of the EMTs - the nicer of the two, Justin had deemed him - opened the doors to the ambulance as soon as the vehicle stopped moving. He gestured silently and Justin glanced at Daphne. She squeezed his arm again. Nodding slowly, he quickly climbed out of the ambulance and stood off out of the way with Daphne. His foot thumped impatiently against the concrete as he watched the EMTs pull the stretcher out and then seconds later a doctor (or maybe a nurse, Justin wasn't sure) came rushing out.

The look on his face was not one Justin wanted to see. He felt his foot stop moving instantly, freezing mid-thump. When the doctor spotted him, however, his face suddenly changed, going emotionless and Justin knew that must've been a doctor thing. He turned back towards the EMTs, said something Justin couldn't make out over the own buzzing in his head, and then they were moving Brian feverishly. Justin moved, following. Daphne silently went after him. Unlike the two EMTs, Brian, and the doctor, though, they only got a good few steps inside the hospital before a nurse stopped them.

His immediate response? Fight, fight like his fucking life depended on it.

"Let me go with him!" he barked, pulling away the second the nurse touched his arm, and he sounded more like Brian than ever and he wasn't sure if he was happy about that or not. The nurse actually seemed stunned - maybe because his voice didn't match his appearance but then she was back again, keeping him from the doors to the hall. Daphne stood back, glancing between Justin and the nurse, unsure of what to do. He never took his eyes off the door he had seen Brian pushed through, his body trembling from a mix of anger and fear. God, he hated that mixture.

"Please," the nurse said after regaining herself, gesturing towards a door to his left - the sign read 'waiting room'. Justin felt pissed off just looking at the word; waiting, he had done enough of that in the parking garage. He needed answers, needed to know what was happening, needed to know if Brian even stood a chance. "We'll contact you when we get news on - "

Fuck, she didn't even know his name. Justin watched her closely. Daphne stepped in. "Brian. Brian Kinney."

She furrowed her brows briefly, surprised again before her face relaxed. "*Please.*"

Justin glanced back at the door before looking back at her. "A phone," he said. She blinked. "Is there a phone in the waiting room I can use?" Recognition flashed across her face and she quickly nodded. Without saying a word, Justin turned and entered the room. Daphne thanked the nurse quietly before rushing after Justin.

Dozens of people sat in the waiting room and when he entered all eyes turned on him. Immediately Justin was put off. He was shaking, covered in blood and felt like doing absolutely nothing and that included dealing with people. He just wanted - needed - to know if Brian was going to be okay. Before that, he wouldn't be doing a damned thing. But one; there was one thing he had to do.

His eyes searched the room before finding it; the phone he had been promised.

Strolling over, he slowly took the phone in his hand and with his other hand dialed. Daphne joined him, looking at him curiously. 

He didn't know who he should call first. Debbie would have his head if she learned he hadn't called her first but really Justin *knew* he couldn't deal with her right now. God, she meant well but she didn't know or understand that sometimes the best thing you could be was silent. She thought comfort always meant talking, but she couldn't be more wrong. He needed silence, but that didn't mean he needed to be alone. He just needed understanding.

He needed someone who would understand what he needed.

The phone rung a few times before finally someone answered. Justin licked his lips.

"Lindsay?"

Daphne remembered her; the woman with the baby named Gus. She was a little surprised Justin had called *her* though.

"Justin?" She sounded confused, though not concerned. "Is everything okay?"

Her voice was soft, comforting. Justin leaned against the wall. "Are you busy?" Shit, his voice was trembling.

When she spoke again, she definitely sounded concerned but not overbearing - actually her voice was even softer. Just what he needed, just what Debbie couldn't provide. "Sweetheart, I - " Gus started crying in the back and Justin immediately felt his heart do that thing again; that unexplainable thing. "I'm not busy at all."

Justin hesitated. "What about - "

Then he heard a different voice; Melanie. She was talking into the phone. "I've got Gus, Justin, is everything okay?"

It was like they both knew something was wrong and he hadn't even said anything yet. Was it a mother thing? Probably.

He wasn't arguing though. "Lindsay, can you come here?"

She didn't say something right away. When she did, her voice was mostly confused again. "Here where?"

Justin felt it again; the familiar wetness on his cheeks that definitely *wasn't* blood. "The hospital." He gave the exact address. "Please hurry."

She didn't even ask, she just told him she would be right there and hung up.


End file.
